I love being a stay at home mommy. I would never want it any other way. My children are my life. However, I think somewhere, in the midst of all this child rearing, I have lost the true meaning of mommy. I feel like 99% of my day is spent disciplining and directing. Where is the mothering around here? I read a blog yesterday that changed my life. I am going back there today to leave a comment. I just haven't figured out exactly what I am going to say. She is a 30 year old mother of 2 little girls. She has the typical "mommy" blog that most of us have. Story after story about her two sweeties. Except for one thing. One post is of her little girl, Hannah, dancing. A video. Soo cute. She is 6. The next post.....she had taken the girls to the beach to swim. The little girl was playing the come up/go under game that all our kids have played. One time she went under and just did not come back up. She drowned. So here I was, reading this blog that is sooo much like mine. A mommy, doing the best she can to nurture and love her babies. Then one day, it is all taken away. I sat for an hour reading this blog. Reflecting, crying, hurting for this mommy. We say a million times over that you just can't count on another day. But, do we really, really, live this way?? I know I don't. Although there were so many fun times with her daughter, this mommy is regretful for all the times she yelled at this little girl. All the times she left for work before she woke up. All the times she told her she was too busy to play. If we only knew when the end of life would be. We could REALLY make the best of it. We could REALLY play with our kids. We would REALLY mother!! That is where I am going with this.
For some reason, my heart is heavy today. I need to change so many things in my life. For my kids and my husband. My weight. Yelling. Nagging. I read a blog today that encouraged parent to turn off the "one eyed monster". He turned off the TV on Sunday night and his kids did not watch again until Friday night. What a great plan. Play, read, talk with my kids instead of turning on the TV to do it for me?! What an idea.
So, today, I encourage you all to read hannahandlily.blospot.com and read this story. It will change your life. Don't start on today's date. Go back to about June and catch up on the story. I promise, it WILL change your life. Don't go there until you have lOTS of time to read and a tissue. And be ready for a new look on life.
Today, I am going to REALLY mother my kids. REALLY love them. REALLY play with them. Hug your kids today!!
6 comments:
Isn't this a constant struggle for all moms? I mean, it is our job to raise our children in the way that they should go, which means that we have to discipline etc. Yuck! I watched a story on GMA one morning and it talked about yelling at your kids and what they see. Just think about being 3 ft tall and seeing your 6'4" father's face as he yells or your 5'5" mother as she yells. Scary.
The other topic the man covered was how to use choice parenting which I think we could really benefit from. We are to teach our kids to be responsible adults and the mans point was that we need give choices and not yell and scream about it. For example, you can choose to pick up your toys or you can choose not to, but if you choose not to they will go to goodwill etc. By giving choices and followign through you eleminate the yelling. Now... if only I was better about following through. He did say that you need to be consistent and that kids are smart and will catch on pretty quickly. But again consistency is the key and one of my weekest areas. I think I am going to try this method again though and see if it takes away some of the yelling.
I try to explain to my kids that there would be much more time for fun if we would all just do what we were supposed to when we were supposed to... this includes me and my own personal struggles with laziness.
Anyway, sorry this is such a long comment, but it is something I have struggled with for a loooonnnggg time!
I agree with Jessica......its a constant struggle. Am I doing enough with them/for them? I like the no TV except on weekends idea. We dont really even have time to watch TV during the week--maybe on Mondays a little!!! Football typically.
Do what you can...when you can...but dont let the GUILT monster get you. Say yes if you can say yes....no if it has to be a no! We are all in this together!
I may not know a whole lot, but I do know you are the best mom, the hottest wife and the best lover I know!!! We are in this together. You be my rock and I'll be yours.
I love you more than yesterday, but less than tomorrow.
ILY,
YOUR ROCK
Um, well if nothing else, you married the right guy!! I came over here from Anne's blog. The main thing I want to say is: mothering IS disciplining and directing. I KNOW it's not fun and not what Hallmark cards are for, but it's one of the reasons God put us over these children.
I mean, I hear you that you feel like you lose sight of what really matters and enjoying your kids, but besides enjoying them like there's no tomorrow, we have to train them like there IS.
I'm gettin' a little preachy and I don't know you at all -- just don't beat yourself up over being a mom. Especially the disciplining and directing part. I'm a public school teacher -- not every mom is on board with the whole 'discipline and directing' stuff. It's an overlooked value!
So glad you called this morning. You are right.... heavy post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. We all struggle with being burdened with house chores, diesciple, business of life, etc.. and still being an AWESOME MOM. We do the best we can and pray that God continues to guide our way. Love ya..... Did you walk today? Did you make the Dallas reservations? I will check on you and get you going again!
You're one of the best moms I know. Even though you DO discipline your kids, they are still such REAL kids - you can tell that they are loved and "mothered" quite well. Pat yourself on the back... they are awesome (and who do you think taught them what kind of people to be?)
Everybody feels this way - know that you REALLY ARE doing a good job.
Love ya'!
Betsy
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